• Gianna De Salvo

My Experience of using the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) with my daughter

My 4 year old was crying when I walked into the room. "What's the matter?", I asked her. " I don't know," she replied. She was clearly feeling very strong emotions but couldn't pinpoint exactly what was upsetting her. I sat with her and held her hand. "It's ok to be upset, even if you're not sure why. Sometimes we just have big feelings in our bodies" I said to her. She continued to sob and I moved closer to her, holding her close, taking deep breaths in and out in the hope that she would feel my breathing and calm her breaths too. I could feel hear breaths starting to mirror mine a bit, but the sobbing continued.


"I just want to be able to stop crying. I'm scared I won't ever stop," she wailed. I replied, repeating back her words to let her know I heard her: "You just want to be able to stop crying and you are scared it won't ever stop." "Yes!" she cried even louder. "Ok, would you be willing to let me try something with you?" She nodded and I asked her, "What is the strongest feeling you have?" She said "I don't know - I just feel sad." I then asked her - "Ok, from 1 to 10, with being not very sad and 10 being really, really sad, what number do you think you are?" "10" she said confidently.


I took her hand in mine and started tapping with two fingers at the 'karate chop' point. Given her age, I said the words for her "Even though you are feeling really, really sad, you can love yourself anyway." I repeated this statement two more times while tapping on the side of her hand. Then I started tapping at her eyebrow point (with one finger - about 6 times) and said "you feel sad." I moved to the side of her eye and said "and you're not sure why. "I tapped under her eye, and said "this sad feeling" and under her nose, "you want to stop crying," and under her mouth, "but you're not sure how." I tapped her collarbone and said "you feel scared." Then while tapping under her arms I said "you're scared you will never be able stop crying." Then I tapped all over her head while I said "this feeling of being sad."


She stared at me, looking surprised. I told her to take a deep breath. Afterwards she laughed. I asked her "what's funny?" and she replied "it was silly of me to think I wouldn't ever be able to stop crying, wasn't it?" I said nothing and she gave me a big hug and asked if I would play a game with her.


Had she still been upset I would've done some more rounds of tapping. But for this time - and her first time may I add - the one round seemed to be enough to shift the energy of the sad feelings she had in her body. I find this is often the case with children - they don't have the same deep-seeded layers of emotions that we tend to have as adults.


She has said she's willing to do more tapping with me in the future. I am grateful that she is open to using a tool that has worked wonders for me and many of my clients over the years. As a parent, I am also proud to be able to offer her as a tool that she can use for life and perhaps one day teach to her children.


If you'd like to learn more about how the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help you or your child, get in touch with me. I offer intensive, one hour sessions for only £85. Using EFT, I have helped people with childhood trauma, anxiety, stress, inner child work, grieving, confidence, self-esteem and more. https://www.joyfulparentcoaching.com/cognitivetherapy.


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