• Gianna De Salvo

10 ways to start loving yourself the way you love your child

Updated: Oct 4, 2020

When I first started meditating I went to a couple of local meditation groups. One day the meditation leader spoke a phrase that really stood out for me:

Imagine looking down at yourself like you're looking down at a baby, with unconditional love and acceptance.

It stood out because I couldn't get that sense fully. I wasn't a mum then. I was 26 and newly living in London. I was stressed and self-absorbed. While I could understand the concept of looking at a baby with such love, it didn't totally resonate with me.

That is until I became a mum and gazed down on my baby girl for the first time. Holy crap! So that what it feels like. I totally get it now. The love I had was immense. The acceptance was complete. That little child was absolutely perfect, even when she wasn't.

So revisiting that advice from all of those years ago, how can we, as adults, love ourselves with the same 'vastness' that we love our children with? Even when they screw up or make us angry sometimes?

1. Tell yourself out loud, using your own name, that you love yourself, every morning.

2. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "No matter what, I support you. I've got your back."

3. Use the above meditation technique. Imagine gazing down upon yourself, seeing yourself without any judgement or criticism.

4. Calm the inner critic. Listen out for unhelpful thoughts and see them for what they really are - just thoughts. Not truths.

5. Think back to all of the things you've accomplished in your life. Marvel at how far you've come. Feel proud of what you've achieved.

6. Look back at 3 things that you did well in the day, just before bed. Even the smallest of accomplishments will do.

7. Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey to learn more about what you're good at and what you have to offer the world.

8. Listen out for the calm, helpful, wise voice in the back of your mind. You know, the one we usually ignore? That's the voice you can start choosing to pay attention to more often.

9. Keep a gratitude journal to help your brain focus on the positives in your life.

10. If you feel overwhelmed with stress or emotion, say to yourself "do not judge myself or others. I know this will pass."

Contact me for a free 30 minute parent coaching consultation to learn more about how I can help you to bring more joy into your life on a personal level and in your family life.